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| Friday was a good day. Matt and I went to the diner and we laughed a lot, which was much needed on my part. Eventually though I started to feel "crazy" and anxious, but after a while Matt helped it go away and instead I felt more relaxed than I had all week. It was really great. I actually slept well Friday night, too, but was woken up really early on Saturday morning.
Saturday was supposed to be Zenkaikon, but that didn't happen because we didn't pre-register. So instead of the convention, Matt came over and we watched the last two episodes of the Eureka season, quite a few episodes of Doctor Who, an episode of The Universe, and an episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force. It was really lovely and relaxing spending 9 or so hours watching tv in Matt's arms like we used to do. We made dinner and stuffs together while watching tv. I fancy going to Matt's more than my house, but it's nice to sometimes be at my house too.
Sunday I went to Hope Lodge with my family to watch a reinactment of a Revolutionary War "skirmish". It was...okay. Weird. Fascinating in a funny way. Smelled of woodsmoke, and the weather was lovely for it. There were tents set up and people dressed as they would have at the time and it was interesting. After that, I spent a little bit of time with Matt. We got coffee and went for a little walk during the sunset in the Bicentenial Park and sat and talked for a while. It was comfortable.
Monday was school and babysitting, nothing special.
Today, UP was released on DVD (I plan on purchasing it tomorrow) and I went to Barnes and Noble with Nicole and Matt for a little while after watching Rachel. We ran into the Wenholds and it was nice seeing them again. It was a neat night.
Presentation on astrocytes tomorrow.
Adam next week. Hope I remain relaxed and calm til then.
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| Sunday was nice. I went to IHOP with Matt around noon and ate yummy breakfast foods. We had a good time together. After that, I came home and fell asleep for a while. I woke up when it was getting dark around 6 (with the time change) and relaxed a little.
Monday was okay. From what I remember I failed an o-chem test, but in better news Bry came home on Monday. That was nice. I missed him a lot.
Tuesday was election day. I woke up feeling miserable. Went to yoga, then voted for Bob, who won. Because everyone was somewhere else in the afternoon, at 4:30 I went to the diner with Matt. We had coffee and I ate a baklava which I still have trouble pronouncing, hehe. It was a nice short while with him. I had to pick up Bry and then we came home.
Today I woke up in a better state of mind than yesterday. Received our graded chem tests and the entire class failed it, including myself. The highest was a 54/100. I had a 47/100. Hah. I don't fail things ever, but there's just something about organic chemistry than I can't handle. After school, I babysat for a bit, then saw Adam. It was decent. He gave me "homework". Turns out I become uncontrollably upset the moment I start trying to explain how I feel/have been feeling. Interesting. Based on the "homework", I may have generalized anxiety disorder rather than depression. We'll see.
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| Happy Halloween to everyone and such.
I don't like "Fall[ing] back". I don't like when it gets dark at 5 instead of 6, it makes me unhappy and very down.
Friday we went to Evan's, but it took longer than expected to get our costumes together so we were an hour later than we had planned on being. They had on the movie Sleepwalkers when we arrived. Cop-Kabob and stabbing cops with corn on the cob- both unrelated to each other surprisingly. We eventually played Balderdash and had some fun with that. However, the night got ruined when we got back to Matt's when I was taking him home. I'm so sorry, love. I wish I could've prevented it. I wish I could take your pain from you. Rest happily and playfully in kitty afterlife, Boo.
Halloween went differently than we had anticipated. Around 2:30 I went over Matt's, and I started feeling really down and I spent a while crying and sobbing about all the unhappy things that have happened over the week, most specifically about Bry. After Matt comforted me and I felt a little better, we started carving our pumpkins. It took about two hours or so, but they turned out really awesomely. I carved out a bat over a few gravestones while Matt did the Misfits fiend skull. They looked really cool when lit up. We have a BUNCH of seeds to roast now, and I didn't even gather all the seeds from both pumpkins. Afterwards, we turned into our respective undead beings and went outside with our glowing pumpkins to hand out candy. Only a small amount of people came by from around 6 til 8:30. By small, I mean, like, 10 kids tops. The rain didn't help, either. Jodi, her friend Mikey dressed as Amy Winehous (haha) and Pauli were over, as well. I was started to feel really disappointed as the night went on because Sky never told me when she got home- we were supposed to go over the Wenholds. After a while, I felt really awful and sad and ended up crying horribly again about the way I felt at that time mixed with how I've been feeling for a long long time. Eventually, I relaxed a little while Matt took a shower to get off his makeup, and I nearly fell asleep, although it was only around 10. After that, we cuddled and talked and it was so very nice that it made me feel better about the rest of the day. So there's my Halloween.
I'm not allowed to see Bry today because I'm not a legal guardian and it sucks. I miss my brother a lot. He means so much to me.
I see Adam on Wendesday. Once my mom goes to see someone, my entire house will be in therapy and probably on medication if Adam decides it's the best for me.
I really don't feel like myself and I try to battle that just for a little glimpse of my real-self to hold on to. So whoever's reading this, if I do or say or sound un-Erica-like, I'm truly sorry.
I'll put up Halloween pictures when my computer decides to be nice to me.
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| It's been a while, so time for an update.
ZOMBIE DAY was a lot of fun, excluding the weather. Matt and I dressed up as zombies and went to the comic book store around 2:30ish and I took a bunch of pictures. After fun things like Left 4 Dead and Dead Rising, we went to the diner with Eric and his new girlfriend Steph. She doesn't talk much, but Eric did and it was cool. Afterwards, we got back to Matt's where his dad told us that we had won a raffle (the one at the comic book store) which was awesome. Yaaay.
So Sunday morning, Matt and I went to the comic book store to pick up our awesome prize, and then we went to the nearby farm and picked up a large pumpkin for carving, and dropped a Halloween card off at the Wenhold's. The rest of my Sunday wasn't very exciting. I went to my lil cousin's 10th birthday and Bry and I spent most of that time watching Weird Al videos on youtube.
Monday nothing exciting. Tuesday, boring. Wednesday, uhg.
But Thursday, yesterday, was really crazy. I miss my brother and I hope he's doing okay. I went to school and went to classes thinking that the day was just sucking a lot. Then when I got home, Matt found us a ride to the Misfits show with Christian and Derick, so we went. And it was cool. I was actually allowed to go. AWESOME. It was so much fun. Well, at least the hour that the Misfits played was fun.
Today, Mel's party. Tomorrow, Halloweeeeen.
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| Left off on Saturday.
Sunday Matt and I went to the Wenhold's where we played Apples to Apples (Party Edition) with Sky, Derick and Heather (Mamma Wenhold) while having tea. When Heather had to leave to go to work, we played for a little while longer then Sky wanted to paint pumpkins, so we brought out the paints and had-at-it. It was fun. I painted a simple not-so-spooky vampire on one side of a pumpkin and a black cat on the other side. Then I painted another pumpkin just lots of different colors I mixed with silver. It was fun. Nice, relaxing, pleasant. Then I went home for dinenr and had a pretty enjoyable rest of the night.
Monday I was still feeling pleasant from Saturday night's occurence. Woke up in a tranquil state and my day was good and the sun was out finally.
Tuesday I woke up still feeling tranquil, but not nearly as much. I could feel it fading.
Wednesday I woke up, and that same feeling of happiness and tranquility was almost gone. I tried to stay above it. I just felt really fatigued all day. Ended up getting the best of my later on that night.
Thursday I woke up miserable. Awful. I felt so unhappy, so stuck. After my first two classes and just before o-chem lab started, Matt helped me feel a little better. After lab, around 6, Bry and I picked up Matt and went to PW for the bonfire. We watched it for a bit, then Bry found his friends and Matt and I went to the playground behind CES. He wrote "Cthulhu" in the wood chips, haha. It was nice. The weather was also quite nice. The moon was gorgeous. A pale-golden cresent heavily hanging just above the horizon. Then Matt and I went to the turf field and laid down looking up at the night sky. He saw a meteor, I only saw the smoke-tail. Still neat. We then went to find Sky and Bryan. Only found Sky, and walked around a bit with her. Matt had to pee (again) so we went into the school, and I wanted to roll down the big hill outside so we did, and that was a lot of fun. We left soon after because I still had homework to finish.
Friday, yesterday, Matt and I went to Impact then to Wendy's then to Halloween Adventure. I bought my costume: http://s.ecrater.com/stores/118571/4acd8f9e8acf3_118571n.jpg and some fangs to go with. It was cool. I like it. Went to his house afterwards and chilled. His parents left at some point, so we drank tea and ate ice cream, while watching a few Aqua Teen Hunger Force episodes and a Might Boosh episode. Pretty fun.
Today is Zombie Day at Comics and More. Been looking forward to this for a few weeks now. Hopefully going to South Street tomorrow with people I miss dearly.
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